This Ship

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Lyrics:

Soft voice of the sea
Singing gently - just to me
She said:
Come to my shore
Forget the land
I will love you
Like no one can.
In the driftwood
You will find your plans
Can you be
Your own island?

[Instrumental Break]

Lost soul of the sea
Drifting slowly - never free
She said:
The sun has taken your sight
The rain has taken your skin
Where is the love
That should have been?
The food is gone,
No water for your thirst.
Your love your final hearse.

You're so happy, aren't you?
You're so beautiful.
You're happy, aren't you?
Aren't you?

[Instrumental Break]

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I think this one came out fairly intense, which is what I was going for. The levels seem alright, but I know the song is far from perfect. I think the "riffs" could be better, but it's good to have at least a little bit of creative juice flowing.

Your thoughts?